Write a Thank You Letter

     If you look around today's world you can experience that gratitude seems to be an archaic concept.
It is very sad. Generations are growing up to believe that things are a given and their "right" to be demanded. As Christians our biggest job is to show people the love of God, and to plant and water the seeds of God in others.
     The beauty is that sometimes we have no idea if we touched someone at all. Think about growing a flower for a minute. The seed gets planted and all we can do is make sure to water it and protect it from the weather. We have no idea if that seed is going to grow at all. We hope and pray that a beautiful flower springs forth, but we truly have knowledge if it will happen.
     Do you remember who planted the idea of God or going to church in you? Was it a stranger, a grandmother, a Pastor, or even your child? Did you ever thank them?
     With my son going to VBS this week I have thought a lot about a lady named Nina Burnett. This amazing, Godly woman showed me my salvation. For six summers she picked me up and took me to VBS at her church, were she helped in the kitchen, and then she would drop me back off at home.
     I can remember because of her taking me that I wanted to go to church on Sundays so bad. I would be up at the crack of dawn (because an 8yr old doesn't know when church starts) and dress in my prettiest clothes and sit in the living room and wait for everyone to get up so we could go. We never went. Now, as an adult looking back, I bet if I had asked her just once to pick me she would have.
     Even ten years later when I would see her in town she remembered my name. In turn, she always made me think of God. This woman never got to see the fruits her labor in me. She never received a thank you from me for the path she started me down over 20yrs ago.

Write a thank you letter to the person who started you on your path.

You deserve it, and so do they.

 

     I was fortunate that when I was baptized there was a very Godly man in our church who came up to me and offered me anything I needed and that he was proud of me. I was able to send him a card right before he passed away. Finally, I sat down one night this week and wrote a letter to Nina. She will never physically receive this letter, but I know that while I was writing it and praying that somehow she knew. God was with me, and so was she. If she was still here today I would nothing more than for her to take my son to VBS, although she would be 80 this year, lol.

My Bubby's First VBS!

VBS is this week, and I am so happy that my son is going!!

Being a small town, all three of our churches get together and plan/do VBS. It is awesome!

This year an awesome lady from the Methodist church put it together, "May the Faith be With You!"

 

To me this is huge and amazing for two reasons.

     1- I was saved at VBS. My parents were not church-goers; except Easter Sunday. Anyway, there was this older lady who lived in town (we lived on the outskirts), Nina Burnett, and she would always ask if my sister and I wanted to go and then she would pick us up and bring us back home. She was an amazing woman, and I never got to thank her before she went to be with the Lord.
         Her taking me to VBS is what fed my love of the Lord. I don't know what my life would be like without her and what she did for me, but I do know that because of her I firmly believe that VBS is a very fundamental and necessary project for all churches. I can remember being 8 and raising my hand that I believed in Jesus Christ and wanted to be saved.
     2- Taking my son to VBS has been an issue of discord between my husband and I the previous years. There was misunderstanding in our relationship when we married about where we were spiritually. I have been on a journey the past almost five years learning how to keep myself grounded and growing in the Lord while at the same time learning to married in this situation. My husband agreed that Bubby could go to VBS this week- it made me cry. This is something I have wanted so bad for my son. Not to "brainwash" him, but because he can have fun, learn, make friends, and lets be honest it gives Mom a small break.

 

Tuesday night Bubby made a lightsaber that says "Jesus is the light of the world."

He also got a little flashlight that has not left his hands since. Last night he learned about David and Goliath, and I cannot wait to hear what he learns about tonight! Maybe I sound selfish, but with working with the kids at church a lot it has felt really good to be able to utilize an event, and not work one. This is what I want our community to understand and feel. This is why VBS is so important!

 

 



"Sick Of It"

"When everything you do
Don't seem to matter.
You try but it's no use
Your world is getting blacker.

When every time you fail
Has no answer.
Every empty promise made
Is a reminder.

No one can make this better
Take control, it's now or never!"

 

Sick Of It

-Skillet

 

 

     My biggest learning curb is my own family. I am coming to realize that everybody's family is a little messed up, but you always feel your own family's failures more profoundly.

 

     I've shared before that my relationship with my mother is difficult and unique; in turn, so is my relationship with my sister. They live together and feed off each other mentally and spiritually- not for the better. Since high school I have spent my life trying to cope with the way my mother and sister are, learn to live my life without their affects, and heal myself. Since I met my husband he has shown me the courage to find my backbone and myself (sometimes I wonder if he re-thinks that, lol).

     The past five years I have grown a lot. A lot, a lot, a lot! The past six months I have felt the most difference in the situation... I am sick of it! I am done! I am tired of it! I don't want to hear it!

They are adults. I am an adult. Everybody who wants to be in their situation is an adult! I cannot fix my mother or my sister. They can't fix my mother or my sister. Only my mother and sister can fix themselves, and they will not because everyone is catering to them. Why would they want to?

 

     I have listened to my family, gave advice, try to explain to them exactly what is happening, and done what I know possible to support my family without directly involving myself with my mother and sister. They are about to kill me!

     I pray daily for the Lord to show me how to forgive my mother. I pray daily that my mother and sister are opened spiritually and emotionally to God and can see their choices and the damage they have and continue to cause. I want them saved and to know God. I pray that one day I can have all my family together and not feel the bad things that cling to them and poison the situations.

     This week I have come to realize that maybe I expect too much from my family. (Doesn't that sound sad?!) There are two very special people in my family that mean everything to me. They raised me, and there are many emotional hurts for me because of how they behave with my mother and my sister. I feel like my son and I are the loyal hound that has sat at their feet for so many years waiting for my head to be patted, and my mother and sister are the puppy in the window that they visit daily but don't want to commit to.

     I am not trying to garner attention or being over dramatic. I can see this situation from every side, and no side can I see any one have a real relationship with my mother and sister. That is what everyone wants, but I feel like the only smart person in the family that can see this. My mother and sister are mentally not there... combinations of bi-polar and depression and they do not take their medications- even when they decide to buy it. One of them knows exactly what she is doing to play the family, and for the other one it is basically her way of life. She cannot function any other way but to manipulate people to achieve her own gain; it is an unconscious action for her. Shouldn't that tell you something?!

 

     I have a good husband. I have a wonderful four year old son. I have a loving church family that is putting me through school right now so I can become a pastor. I have an amazing Pastor who has done nothing but support me and help me grow through these pains. I have two best friends who basically let me live with them/off them/around them when I came back from college, and to this day are magically there whenever I am in need. My job is a job, there are good days and there are bad days, but in all it is where the Lord has placed me right now and I am working it. I am incredibly happy. I am blessed every moment by God.  And... Today I accept that I am done with supporting anyone or any aspect that is linked to my mother and sister. I am working with God to ease these pains, but it is not healthy for me or my son or my husband that I deal with these people in my family about this situation any more. I will not feel bad/guilty/responsible for walking away from it. As a parent I understand that there will come a day when I will have to look at my son and say "you are an adult, and I am not responsible for your choices anymore." I realize that I have taken responsibility for my family when they deal with my mother and sister.

     I AM DONE. I release myself from hearing about it, talking about, and poisoning myself, my husband, and my son with this stuff.

 

 

Father's Day

Ephesians 3:14-15

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and of earth is named..."

The dictionary's definition of father is: a male who exercises paternal care over other persons.
My definition of father is: someone who taught me honesty, courage, and strength; someone who taught me the meaning of work, family, and faith; finally but not last, someone who stood beside me in everything and reminded me it's all about one day at a time.

I know that on this day we celebrate our fathers, but sometimes two words mean more than anything else: Thank-you! Thank you for every minute and lesson you gave to me. No matter how hard it was on you, because we grew together didn't we?

And, honestly, I think George Strait said it best:

Last night I dreamed I died and stood outside those pearly gates.

When suddenly I realized there must be some mistake.

If they know half the things I've done, they'll never let me in.

And then somewhere from the other side I heard these words again.

And they said, "Let me tell you a secret about A Father's love,

A secret that my daddy said was just between us.

You see Daddy's don't just love their children every now and then.

It's a love without end, amen, it's a love without end, Amen."

Birthday Weekend

My birthday was Saturday!

 

I actually had my birthday party on the 6th.

IT WAS AWESOME!

Yes, I totally ordered a bounce house for my 20th-something party!

 

My lifetime hobby/sport is archery. (That's a post for another time.)

So the weekend of my birthday is always on our Club's Traditional National Bowshoot.

In turn I celebrated a week early, lol.

 

I always enjoy our bowshot though! I have too much fun!

I also bought me a new bow for my birthday!

 This is actually the first bow that I have bought myself. Very proud moment!

Zebra wood riser (handle) and Birdseye Maple limbs:



Upcoming Sermons!

I am super excited right now! I have two sermons that I am really working hard on!

 

I will give you a hint about each one:

 

 

 

 

and the other...

 

 

John 17:14-18 (NIV)

"I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world."

 

 

Tired

"Come to me, all you who are weary..."
Matthew 11:28

Lord, I am sooooo weary.
I set myself up for it, but I cannot stand to be bored. Busy-ness keeps my mind working and keeps it from rolling off the deep end of over-thinking.
(Psycho-analyze that all you want. I have just learned to stay occupied.)
I go for two-three month stretches before I start to get tired, and start procrastinating. I know it's burnout mostly, but I look at things that need done and think to myself, "if no one will do it, I can do it." I have come to realize though, that is not necessarily sleepy tired, it's the "in-your-bones" tired. 

When I'm out with my little guy, four years old, and he starts getting tired walking around he asks me to carry him. So I pick up my baby. He lays his head on my shoulder and loosely hangs his arms around my neck (it's that not-enough-energy-to-hold-tight hug). I wrap my arms around him, and it's the most comforting feeling in the world, to know my Bubby needs me to just hold him.

That's what Jesus asks of us. "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."

What kind of rest are we looking for in today's world? To be able to sleep in? We think that's what it is, and for a large part of people it is that they are not getting actual sleep. Mainly, it's that we are not resting in the Lord.
He wants our burdens and worries, and for us to rest. The past week I have realized that my alone time with God is my rest. I feel more recharged after having quiet time with God. I'm not even reading my Bible in my quiet time. All I am doing is taking 15 minutes in my car (work lunch), turn some Christian music down real low so I can barely understand it, and just imagine God sitting with me. (It may sound super silly to you, but try it!) Imagine what relaxed you and comforted you when you were little... mom rubbing your hair, dad patting your back, or even grandma holding your hand.  Imagine God in those positions, He's trying to soothe you- let Him. It's like meditation and praying all rolled into one. You need to clear your mind and just focus on God comforting you. 15 minutes were the problems and loudness of the world slip away.

We need more than physical rest. Jesus calls us to take mental rest as well.

I know my calling!

Loving Change

 

Romans 12:2

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing, and perfect will."

 

 

 

Does everything have to change?

Puppies have to turn into dogs. Our children have to grow up. Season change. My favorite color used to be blue. It is no longer, as you can tell by all the purple. Everything changes. The earth changes. People change. Situations change.

 

My favorite thing to play with growing up was play-doh. I had a tote of this stuff that I would play with for hours in the kitchen. Rolling pins, forks, spoons... any utensil that Grandma could beat me with because I used it on play-doh I did.

 

The thing with play-doh is that it changes. It is meant to be transformed, renewed, changed and the worst thing that could happen to it was when you forgot to put the lid back on it. Cause what do you do with hard play-doh? You throw it away. It is pointless, useless, and it cannot serve it's purpose anymore once it cannot change.

 

So why doesn't this [church/worship] change?

Does this change, worship; the way we praise God, the way we celebrate God?

Are we reflecting our love of God in our change?

I think naturally things should change. It is a natural order.

 

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

We can break that down:

     Pattern as a noun- a repeating decorative design. Pattern as a verb- decorate with a reoccurring design.
     Transform means to change in form, appearance, character, shape, color, etc. Synonyms for transform are change, alter, or transfigure.
     Renew: to make new again or make new again with enthusiasm.

So Romans 12:2 is saying:
     Do not conform to the repetitiveness of this world, but be changed by the making new of our mind.

Pauls' writing to the Romans was aimed toward the Jews and some Gentiles, people who were set in their belief before Christ. He was trying to tell them that it does not matter that you know God, but that you are being transformed/changed/altered by God's love.
Jesus was teaching a new way of thinking. Trying to change our way of thinking. Rituals, habits, patterns, and repetitiveness was not the point of serving God. It was not the point of loving God.
It was learning to change for God. Loving God. Finding a new way of thinking.

Jesus Christ does not change! Changing and being transformed does not mean that Jesus is changing.
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8
Play-doh is like Jesus- it does not change. You cannot  break it down, melt it or change what it is made up of. Jesus does not change, but because we love Him we want to change.

How I worship God does not change who He is!
How you worship God does not change Him or what He means to me.

As we grow it is natural that worship and loving God changes. You are growing. You are learning new things. When I fell in love with my husband I changed. Love changes people. Love moves mountains. When I had my son, I changed out of love for my son. He daily changes me in my love for him. The same as I should be daily changing in my love for Jesus Christ; in how we approach Him, how we love Him, and how we worship Him.

35% believe that church is not relevant. (Statistic Link)
They believe that it is stagnant and that He is irrelevant, because times change.

Do we represent that God changes?
When we gather together as believers do we show that God changes us?
God changes us as individuals, and God changes us as believers. We have to represent that to people.
We have to show them that God's love transforms, purposely makes us a better person, and that he is not stagnant or dead or irrelevant. Times may change, but situations repeat themselves. Bellbottoms came back, I mean come on. What was applicable then is applicable today and that is God and His love and the transformation and renewing of ourselves in His love.

Loving God means we choose to accept change. Not always running headstrong into change. I fight change tooth and nail sometimes, but we accept God by accepting change. We accept love from God by accepting change. And we transfer that and we transform that by transferring that to others and by transforming that to show others.

Change is really hard. Opening your heart to love somebody and change for them is really hard.
I first expected following Christ, as all Christians do, that we have the instant change of an awesome life and we do, but we look for it in the materialistic expectations of our life.
The new transformation He gives us is in our heart.
Are we relating that to worship, relating that to people? Are we showing them that we need to change out there {outside of church} but we're going to come in here {church} and do the same things every Sunday? Or are we changing in here, but doing the same things our there?  It's a two way road.

I just ask that as much as we despise change sometimes we have to ask God for it, and we do.
We always ask for better things in our lives, but you cannot ask if you are not willing to follow.
There is no point in asking for the change of a better life if you are not going to put your foot to the ground.

God is change, but God is not change. For God never changes, but God is always changing us.