I preached again!
I preached on Matthew 4:18-20 (NIV), and following your calling.
The two weeks I spent working on my sermon were hard. I truly started at A and ended on Q. My sermon was not what I started with or where I thought it would end. Between working through some personal situations and situations I am watching my church go through I am shocked by how much God led me through. It was a good "walk" for me though. I followed God through every step of it, and that turned out to be my sermon. God will make you walk the talk!
I decided the following Monday that I am looking in to getting a video recorder more substantial than my cell phone; I wish I had it recorded to share. All I have is the audio recording and I am working on making a video to put on youtube-maybe. (We will see how that goes.)
I realized two things in the middle of my sermon (actually toward the end).
1- I was uncomfortable on the stage and behind a stand. It felt slightly wrong from the start. Part of my two weeks leading up to that Sunday was mentally preparing myself to step into that "spot". Do not mistake that statement as a disregard for the pulpit. It was realizing a part of following my calling. That is not my preaching zone or style. Whatever you want to attribute it to- different generation, etc. That is just not my true called way to preach.
2- Why am I doing this?! Dang good question. The point of our calling is not what we do, but WHY we do! I am not going to pastor teenagers for glory or to relive my younger years or even to crow that I am doing the impossible. I am doing it because I was hurt by a church as a teenager.
Story time...
I was 12yrs old. I wanted to find a youth group. A time in my life when I wanted friendship and a form of family. Friends were moving away, I was going from elementary to Jr. High, meeting lots of new people, my self-esteem was pretty much in shreds, and the bottom line of it all was that I wanted to know and understand God and find like-minded kids my age.
My mom's friend went to church and took her sons. She offered to take me with them when they went on Wednesday nights for their own groups (her sons were younger than me). I accepted the offer happily. I went to three meetings.
The first time I went I fell in love. I had fun, learned, made friends, and was excited about going back. The second time was just as fun. They were starting to put together their fundraising for their yearly fall ski trip. I was super excited to join. On the third night though, after everything was over and everybody was getting ready to leave, the youth pastor pulled me aside. He explained to me that until I joined the church and started coming to service on Sunday's I would not be able to actually go on the ski trip, but he fully encouraged me to stay signed up for the fundraiser events and to keep coming on Wednesday nights.
I left that night and didn't look back. It was a long time before I looked at church.
Church-burn happens to everybody! That's another matter for another time though.
That is why I do. I don't want any teenager to feel ignored, pushed out, belittled, etc. Not even just teenagers- I don't want anybody to feel that way ever!
The only stupid questions are the questions that are not asked! I want to be asked. I want to do the asking!
All I desperately want is to follow God and His will for my life! At all costs I will endeavor to do so!
