Mother's Day

 

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful women out there raising kids

(whether they be fur-babies or humans, lol).

 

     Personally, Mother's Days have always had a sad tune for me. Whom I would consider my mother is my Grandmother. She was there for me in the years that really mattered in my development. I have some really good memories of my mom prior to when we moved in with my grandparents, but it is really hard to profess love to my mother when she really shut me down growing up. I am praying and working through it, but days like today leave me wishing I had something I could say about my mother.

     My greatest fear growing up was being exactly like my mom, and treating my kids how I was treated. I struggle with that everyday with my son. It's a blessing in a way, I am so conscious of what I do with him and how I treat him.

     I am not accustomed to praise, but for some reason this holiday has me seeking assurance that I am doing good with my son. I know we all as parents are realistically doing that almost daily, but with my "relationship" with my mother it really hits home on this holiday.

     My son is too little still to really understand the holiday, but I feel real shallow when I have to go to the store to buy my own flowers. (I also bought myself candy for spite.) That was the other bummer about yesterday I was told that the day is not about honoring spouses, but your own mother.

Not to be honored in my own home except by myself is really depressing, lol. It reminds me of my issues with my mother. If you are not worthy to be honored than you must be doing something wrong.

     I spent my day in prayer. Church service was awesome this morning, and my little guy went up to participate which made me so happy. It was truly another day of the week just with more prayer. Ground myself in the love of the Lord is the best solution. My dad did come over for dinner. It was nice to get a card from him. He reminds me that I am me, and everything is worth it.

 

I am so happy I have my son.

God truly knew what he was doing blessing me with a little boy to connect with.