I don't know about your social media circle, but recently an article went through mine. A very good article about reasons why it is good to ask permission. Which when I shared it led to many questions. So, I believe my own explanation is in order!
Yes, I do ask my husband permission in our marriage.
Yes, I am very proud of it!
My husband is my equal and the leader of our home. His role is to set the standard for my son in faith, life, relationships, work, etc. How can my husband accurately lead my son if I am robbing him of his role? I believe we are hitting a point culturally where "women empowerment" means man-shaming. "We are our own person why should we curtail to a man..."
It is not submission in the definition of the derogatory term that this world has adopted. It is giving my husband back the respect of his place in our home, our relationship, and my life. When we married we became "one flesh" (Gen 2:24, Matt 19:6, Eph 5:31), not two! When I married my husband no where did it say that we carry on as different people with our own lives. It said that we are one flesh which means we must be on the same page of our marriage and life together- everyday! No action no matter how small "only affects me." In my opinion, that is a very short sighted excuse to life. My choices affect my husband the same as his actions have repercussions to me, and not just the opposite spouse but toward our son as well.
The action of asking my husband is an action of trust and honor. I am going to him as my partner. I am going to him as my equal. I am giving him the same respect that I would expect in return. It disturbs me greatly to hear of wives and even husbands who say "I just tell them what I'm doing, and they can deal." How incredibly disrespectful. Not just to your spouse, but to yourself, your children, and especially to God. Treating your spouse in such a manner is the same as treating God that way. Your spouse IS a child of God. (When someone disrespects my son they are disrespecting me- see how it works?)
I want my husband and I to have an open communication in our marriage. I want that example for my son. I want that example for the kids I lead. I want that example for every person in our lives. In order for that to happen though, I have to SHOW him what that is, how that happens, and that I can do it to! At some point in your relationship I am sure you have been the culprit of "volun-told." You nominate the significant other to do something without consulting them before-hand.... I have done this before. I am human (and female). It doesn't mean that I am operating our marriage this way. I have grown up watching married couples carry out this method. What I saw was the quickest way to upset your spouse. "Oh by the way, you're doing...." WRONG. STOP IT!
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